Rethinking Masculinity: Why This Conversation Matters for All of Us
For nearly two decades, I’ve been facilitating conversations about identity—who we are, how we show up in the world, and what it means to live fully. And here’s one truth I’ve come back to again and again: When we create spaces to talk about identity, we have to make this work deeply relevant to all of us. That includes men.
The Misconception About Inclusion Work
Somewhere along the way, a dangerous myth took root: that diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) work is only for those who’ve been pushed to the margins. That DEI is something white men must simply “get through,” “tolerate,” or even worse—“defend against.”
Lately, this myth has gained traction in certain political and cultural conversations. There’s a growing notion that inclusion work is somehow bad for men—especially white men. That it erodes strength, silences voices, or undermines excellence.
But I can say, with absolute certainty, that spaces that have invited me to explore identity—especially masculinity—have saved my life.
These spaces didn’t weaken me. They made me more whole.
They didn’t shame me. They made me braver.
They didn’t alienate me. They helped me find community.
And at InnerShift, we believe this kind of growth is not only possible—it’s necessary.
Masculinity Is Not the Enemy—But the “Script” Might Be
Masculinity isn’t inherently toxic. It’s not the problem. The issue is with the dominant scripts we’ve been handed—scripts that teach men to prove their worth by what they conquer, how they suppress emotion, how they dominate instead of connect.
These scripts tell us:
Don’t cry.
Don’t ask for help.
Don’t be too sensitive.
Don’t be too soft.
Don’t lose.
Don’t feel too much.
Don’t let people see you struggle.
These messages don’t just live in locker rooms or on playgrounds. They show up in boardrooms. In family life. In friendships. In how we lead.
These scripts are so normalized that many of us follow them without realizing the cost:
Loneliness. Men are statistically more likely to report feeling isolated, especially as they age.
Unaddressed mental health. Men are less likely to seek therapy or mental health support.
High suicide rates. In many countries, including the U.S., white men have the highest rates of suicide.
Workplace burnout. The pressure to perform without vulnerability leads many men to exhaustion.
Shallow relationships. Many men report not having even one close friend they can confide in.
This is not just a crisis of masculinity. It’s a crisis of meaning. A crisis of connection. We’re not weak because we feel this. We’re human. And the truth is, many of us are hungry for something deeper.
Masculinity at Work: The Unspoken Impact
Let’s talk about the workplace. When conversations about masculinity arise, people often think about extremes—hostile work environments, HR violations, or public scandals. But in reality, the impacts of masculinity show up far more subtly—and far more pervasively—than we often name.
You can have a workplace full of men who never violate a single HR rule…and still have a culture that feels heavy, competitive, disengaged, or closed off. Why?
Because many men have been socialized not to process their emotions.
Not to ask for help.
Not to show vulnerability.
Not to prioritize their own well-being.
And this doesn’t just affect them personally. It affects everyone around them.
When men are encouraged to suppress emotion and carry on through stress, grief, conflict, and uncertainty without the tools to address it, that unprocessed energy spills over. It can create tension, miscommunication, passive-aggressiveness, burnout, or apathy. It can stifle collaboration and innovation. It can quietly drain the life out of a team. The truth is, we cannot build thriving workplaces while ignoring how masculinity operates inside of them.
We need to equip men—not just to lead—but to lead well. To lead from a place of groundedness, self-awareness, and care. To model emotional intelligence, rather than retreat from it.
This isn’t about policing behavior. It’s about shifting culture. It’s about creating workplaces where people feel seen, supported, and inspired—regardless of gender. And that starts with helping men develop the skills and self-awareness many of us were never taught.
The Promise of New Scripts
The most liberatory aspect of examining the “scripts” of masculinity—-is that scripts can be rewritten. What if we reimagined masculinity as a source of strength and softness? What if we redefined leadership not just by achievement, but by emotional intelligence, authenticity, and the ability to build trust? What if the inclusion work centered not on shame or punishment, but on deep belonging—for everyone?
That’s the work we’re doing at InnerShift. And that’s why we’re launching our new virtual workshop series:
nurture >>> FORTITUDE: Navigating Masculinity & Well-Being in Work & Life
Over the course of three engaging virtual sessions, we’ll dive into the stories we’ve been told about masculinity—and the stories we want to live into instead. This isn’t a lecture. It’s not a call-out. It’s an invitation to pause, reflect, and grow.
Together, we’ll explore:
The dominant scripts of masculinity—and how they show up in our work and relationships
Emotional resilience as a leadership skill
Vulnerability as a strength, not a liability
Healthier ways to navigate stress, conflict, and burnout
A new model of masculinity grounded in authenticity and well-being
Whether you identify as a man, love someone who does, or simply want to better understand the cultural forces shaping our world—this space is for you.
🗓️ Workshop Dates:
Tuesdays, May 6, 13, and 20|
⏰ 10:00–11:30 AM Central
📍 Held virtually via Zoom
💻 Register by Monday, May 5: Register Here
Why This Matters Now
We are in a moment where masculinity is being discussed everywhere—on podcasts, in politics, in parenting groups, and on TikTok. But many of these conversations are not actually helping.
They often reinforce the same harmful myths that got us here in the first place.
They cling to a narrow, rigid idea of what it means to be a “real man.” They pit vulnerability against strength. They offer outrage instead of insight. They generate noise instead of care.
We need a different kind of conversation—one grounded in courage, connection, and curiosity.
That’s what this workshop offers.
And more than that, it’s what InnerShift is committed to in all of our work: helping people live and lead with more intention, resilience, and wholeness.
A Final Word (Especially for the Skeptics)
If you’ve ever thought, “This work isn’t for me”—I get it. If you’ve ever worried that exploring identity means losing part of yourself—I understand. But what if it’s the opposite?
What if you gain access to the parts of yourself you’ve been told to bury? What if you become a better friend, a better leader, a better parent—not by hardening, but by softening?
What if we created a world where men didn’t have to perform a rigid definition of masculinity, but could simply be—honest, whole, human? That world is possible.
Let’s begin building it—together.
🧭 Register now for nurture >>> FORTITUDE and take a bold step toward a healthier, more connected version of masculinity—for yourself, and for the people you love.
